(clears throat)
So off we were, me driving WLT and my father driving another car. Instead of having two trips of carrying luggage we ended choosing another option that we thought would ease the task of carrying my things to our hometown. It was to bring two cars and stuff everything in the two. Yup, it's my last semester in Penang, so the room had been emptied.
Now all I want to do is-well, I'll need a list. Watch t.v., cartoons, feed my fish, feed' em again, go to C.M., buy myself a new black bracelet (
boleh tak Bu?) chat and laugh with my dear cousin till late night, and in short-in fact this isn't what you'd call a list
kan,-in short I want to do everything I've almost forgotten about these 2 and a half years. A friend once asked me if I watch t.v. in campus and what I said went something like,
"Rupa t.v. tu cemane pun dah lupe."
"Awh Hystrix, you ni lebih-lebih la..!"
I know Jas! XD I mean, if you're one of those who has ever had the chance to deal with me, you'd know that I'm too much engaged to chores everyone else is doing; plus extras, in which I volunteer in:
Cohort Secretary, KSB Vice Secretary, KPA Cohort Representative, KPA Debate Competition Banner and Programme Book Unit Leader, TESL Night Secretary, Raya Feast and TESL Night MC, and Chalkie Bloggies Club Moderator(the one which didn't stand any chance for activities despite having two planned). Most of the time I indulged in the opportunity to learn through it, but there were times in which I found myself anxious about not having so much time to rest.
I have been one who enjoy having acquaintances around, but have not had much opportunity of doing it.
Say, Pedagogy would take around three hours a week, without any extra class. Which means that it could take up to five hours a week. And Pedagogy, most sincerely, was hell because of the way it was taught. People were required to do so much but not express themselves liberally in an equal manner. I know that's one vague statement. I mean, we were required to go a hundred extra miles every day for every task, for every activities and for everything-but when it comes to mass lectures you can safely plug in earphones to your ears because you are only required to stay awake and watch presentations. That had too little to do with any points listed in the pro forma.
And during class discussions you would need to pay attention and be really mindful when expressing your thoughts-for you might be simply rained with bullets of disapproval from the observer, should your notion intercepts hers. She- who sits somewhere behind you, watching everyone. And classes would end with threats about failures that happen every year, the way lectures would be initiated with.
Ah, just imagine. How relaxing. If Pedagogy alone would take that much time out of us TESOL 3-ians, how much time do we have left for leisure? And with happenings in campus which I had great interest in joining the workforce, how much time would I have left? And when I finally discovered that I have not been enjoying and benefiting much from Pedagogy classes, it was too late.
And so recently I got the chance to talk with Dr. Coutts, who came all the way from Macquarie University to moderate our examination (and assignments) marks. That was my first face-to-face experience. I was nervous about the probability that I might not catch her words in her supernova Aussie slang-but nope, I did, though I missed some shots.Goodness, help me.
THESAURUS, MALAYSIAN STUDENTS' ALL-TIME FAVOURITE.
She asked me what was in my head, when I was writing the assignment. It was a violation of language. No fair share of language skills utilisation existed with coherent ideas in it. I wrote rubbish, in a malevolently elevated level of language until it made little sense in the end, while it sounded more like an attempt of expressing ideas in flowery language. Yup, malevolent. I told her I wanted to impress someone. By it- she was frustrated, just the way I was. And that someone I wanted to impress so badly was my Pedagogy lecturer. Because I felt too much intimidated by her discouraging appreciation towards everyone's effort to do well in class all the while. So much until some of us ended up cursing or crying. Cruel.
Off with the flashback.
"Did you write with a thesaurus beside you?" Dr. Coutts inquired.
"That's a way of learning," I replied.
To my surprise, she shooked her head. "That's common among Malaysian students," was her response.
"Uhm? But I think that's a good way to-"
"Australian students don't do that. Well-when you're writing you want people to understand what you're writing about, not to wonder about it. I mean good writers write in simple sentences so it would be easy to understand their ideas, rather than to have complicated sentences and not having it understood by anyone."
Awkward. That does make sense, doesn't it? It does.
But what I did, was-playing with words. I enjoyed the game-the art, if I'm privileged to have it called so. It has been my all-time favourite. Hey, don't you use thesaurus too? I think of it as an express link of acquiring new vocabularies instantaneously, while writing. If not then, just when else? Apart of when you're reading novels, (if time permits; and if you're a fast reader, that's obviously not one of my qualities) there won't be so much time for leisure in campus. Even reading daily newspaper was a hardship.
So if using thesaurus when writing isn't good, how should it be then? I shared with Dr. Coutts that synonyms can't simply be chosen randomly because one synonym don't share the same definition with the other-and as it suggests, only one or two would have a perfectly matching definition with a particular context. A different context would have to do with a different diction, that's what it is about.
This time she nodded vigorously. Good that you know that, she said.
Good, I almost cried when she asked what was in my head. It sounded a bit harsh, but she was more motherly in her intention, compared to my very own lecturer in her conversation with me. She fed me the possibility of failing again. And again. And again-who wouldn't puke. I believe in my abilities. and I have too little concern when she says "You'd fail when you go there." Not until I stop working.
But what happened was a scene to learn from. If Pedagogy had not been one, this should. Writing isn't about impressing people to an extreme extent, but to make life easy for them by allowing them some space to mull over the ideas, and comprehend the lines.
"It's not about falling. It's about getting up each time you fall."
-Madam Mariah Ibrahim.
Another lesson is that-a good teacher encourages her students to outshine, not kill their guts with demotivating threats. And yeah. We learn Classroom Management too. Our lovable lecturer taught us that a good teacher provides non-hostile environment for learning. Not teach in a hostile environment by threatening everyone about failing a paper. After all, which is more severe than the other; students failing in exam, or a teacher failing to stimulate minds and generate active participation all the while in classes and lectures, ALL BEFORE the big day comes? Is the big day our only focus, and not lifelong knowledge and skill acquisition? Is that what the National Education Philosophy suggested, to be exam oriented? Is that a point that a teacher could be excused for overlooking? Being a teacher-or a class manager isn't about unleashing our internal desire of showing who was boss. It's about polishing a handfull of diamonds, refining it, and finding every edge from which it could shine-until each would shine the brightest from every side, one as brilliant as all the other. Talking about bringing out each student's unique quality without the slightest hint of favouritism. That is a wilfull teacher's commitment.
Salam.
