Sleepless Night. (BTN wrap-up)

It went to be beyond expectation, friends that were sisters to each other tearfully hated to see each other's face, friends who were brothers refused to speak. It went to that extent.

When he shouted, I didn't mind. I thought that it was just him, in his another episode of unstable emotion phase, or you'd say him being simply 'emo', maybe. I couldn't care less, and had made an early preparation for such situation as it had occurred quite some time ago.

It took a few hours for me to realise that the whole drama wasn't just a game, but pure reality. How a group of people can possibly turn the table, it crossed my mind. The hall was ours, and no one could simply walk in and snatch the flag we made without difficulties-at the very least, not without listening to less wonderful words. Or signs. 'Cause we weren't really allowed to speak, as in the rules and regulation of the game-which was by then over, without us knowing just when. To me it was because there was no clear summary of the activity. No "congratulations-you've-made-it!" or "now-you-see-that's-how-it-would-be-like-to-fight-for-your-country's-sovereignty-" NO NOTHING. It just ended with us being splashed with water and all of a sudden, we were shooed out, saying that the game was over. (Huh? That's the end?) People were whispering underneath the soaked flag, "what should we do next?" One asked. We joined the pieces of clothes to form a Jalur Gemilang and nobody came to tell us that we've made it, instead we were told to simply leave the hall. I just couldn't understand.



So it got out of control. It became one sleepless night. My teeth clattered from the biting night breeze, my shirt was a wet blanket that wrapped me in.

Freak, how angry he was. I think with everyone, and especially me. I guess I screwed things up. And how confused I was, still. I didn't mean to intimidate, I didn't mean to make him believe that I'm saying he was a liar, I didn't mean to not believe him in the first place! I didn't. I plainly believed that it was a game, that was what I told him the next day. But that night he refused to talk or look at me when I call. It upset me most, thinking that a few days ago we had laughed together over the phone. But I think he was doing the right thing. Though it hurt.


It was only after 4.00 am that we got to sleep, and woke up the next morning at 5.30 am for prayer.


Peculiarly the next morning everyone was back laughing, everyone forgot about last night, everyone cheered with each other. Everyone sat together and memorised the nation's acts for the test. Act 3, Act 153, 154, 181...everything. And none talked about what happened the night before. And the exam didn't give much trouble for us all.


I remember. Someone cried hard last night. Today it shows, that her eyes suffered a great deal. I went to her and called. "I'm sorry," I said.

"No, no, it wasn't your fault. I think I got to learn something from it too, it hurt me to see you guys like that and I was wondering why didn't you guys trust me," She said in between sobs.

I looked down and nodded. But no way it was her fault too, no way. Last night she was one of those who came and asked us to leave for bed, when we were straining our arms protecting each other from any threats-I don't know what on Earth it was-but I'm sorry, I AM sorry.

"Please don't keep it in your heart Hystrix," she said, placing one palm on her chest, while with another arm she gripped my neck and pulled it close to her body. I wrung my arms around her too. I heard her choke and cried with her.

"I'm sorry.." I whispered.



***

What they couldn't see was that we made it to get back together again. They said it was a failure. But-even if it was, we were a whole again, all of us. Who cares if someone shouted at the top of his lungs? Who cares if someone cursed angrily at her companion? Who cares, when in the end we got each other near again? That was what they failed to comprehend. The value of friendship, true friendship, that can withstand almost everything. It wasn't all about obeying or defying a leader, it wasn't completely about finishing the game too. It was about the value of trust, love, and friendship. A simple bond that was put to an ultimate test that night-and survived.


And it wasn't a test of whether you could keep the flag safe from a dustbin,or how long you could stay in an air-conditioned hall, with wet clothes around and wet floor underneath, panicking, thinking that it was right to stand the ground. It wasn't. Something must have failed, somewhere. Otherwise it wouldn't turn out to be that bad. But it wasn't the subject matter. It was trust, and nothing else but that, if the literal aspect was to be put aside for once.


Hey. If one day I fell and hurt my knees, I know I have friends to turn to. And if someday someone else needs help with anything, I wouldn't have to spend a minute for a reason why I should come. Because that night the curtains were drawn to reveal something that was all the while hidden from bare eyes. And a chain of inseparable hearts tied to one another glowed in a bask of sincerity.

-credit: Muhd. Sufian Shuhaimi. My little 'porcupine' brother.

In memory of Kursus Biro Tatanegara Mahasiswa ke Luar Negara, 2010.

IPG Kampus Pulau Pinang-IPG Kampus Sultan Abdul Halim.

"We'll get up together, but we'll get up as one." 
 -Faris, IPSAH.


Forever together, a union of friendship as tough as the mountains, as gracefull as the clouds. As tender as the wind.