Transition #1: Look Around

Assalamualaikum.

I don't know why, but I have the feeling that it gets harder to write day by day. Looks like it has become more and more true, (regardless of the many times that I doubted myself) that I spend more time thinking and abandoning the thoughts than writing about it in this blog.

It's now winter break. I'm home because this Aidilfitri I won't be together with family celebrating the big day. Ha, my first experience of celebrating Raya with the peoples down under. :) Rasakan. But I find that staying away  teaches me a lot about love and sacrifice. Dulu masa dekat maktab, study bukanlah sesuatu yang senang. Mana-mana pun macam tu. Whenever you face a challenge you can't stop to tremble over it, you carry on. It's nothing different, no matter where you go. The more I believe in it, the harder life feels.

Macam mana agaknya ya. Dugaan datang umpama bayang. Tak putus-putus mengekori. Hati juga kadang rasa lemah, letih, bila yang dikasihi berada jauh dari pandangan mata, jika dikhabarkan pun, akan sayulah hati kesayangan-kesayanganku itu, Ayah dan Ibu. Itupun sudah cukup banyak yang mereka korbankan demi anak yang seorang ni. Jadi pada siapa sebenarnya tempat berpaut?

Kita hidup dilingkungi kuasa Pencipta kita. Tak ada apa yang lebih berkuasa dariNya. Tuhan itu berkuasa atas tiap-tiap sesuatu. Tak ada makhluk yang diuji melebihi dari apa yang mampu ditanggunggnya. Bukan kita tak tahu. Tapi jika 'redha' itu boleh disukat, seberapa dalamkah redha kita menerima ujian Allah?

Tak tahu. I can't even tell how ready I am whenever His tests come in my way. Because time and again, I need to be reminded. Of how dependent I am to Him. Of how true the fact is, that He owns my life, sets my destiny, determines my path. Of how I would be in despair if I don't grab the chance to pray to Him and ask for nothing but the best.


Because, my friend, He listens. He listens to your every prayer, pays attention to your every whining, waits for the second when you will finally stop complaining about how life's been cruel to you and bow your head to Him, tell Him that the faith in Him keeps you running.

Allah is the Most Merciful. I believe that no matter how troubled I am, I am good because He made me. You are too, because He made you.

Our existence is the most beautiful fact about being alive. Living is another thing, but first is the chance Allah gave us-to live. Souls are created but not all make it. We made it, somehow. With His grace. Come to think of it, what's life if it's all bed of roses? What's life if you get rewards without tests? What's life if it's not your diary of struggles and inspiring stories of success? What's life then, if it's not those?

Allah rewards those with outstanding patience. Outstanding patience. Work towards it, because there is no parameters as of to how outstanding your efforts are. It's something very subjective and most importantly, it's His to decide.

Look around you. Isn't the world beautiful? Isn't it lovely how the Sun rises in the East and sets in the West? Isn't it lovely how the Moon lights up your nights and the stars glimmer to decorate the skies? Isn't it magnificent how you exist with all other living organisms but you differ greatly to them? Isn't it mindblowing to think of how the Earth exists for you to call home, while you know that there are zillions of other existences across the atmosphere and you're not there but here on the Earth, pondering about the creations around you?

Isn't it magnificent how tiny your little self is, compared to the Universe, all of those which is no one's but His own?

Your breath-my breath-is something unthinkable. Let alone this life He awards us with. Alhamdulillah. Forgive me Allah, for my wrongdoings. Forgive me, for whining. Forgive me, for making you wait. Forgive me, for not asking to You humbly. Forgive me, if my faith ever gets shaken by Your tests. Forgive me, for not being at my best.


I need You.


*photo taken at Bruni Island, Tasmania, Aus. June 29, 2011.