(Insert a Title Here) or The Late Show on TV5: Part 1

For I really don't have an idea for a title. Cut it out.

Islamophobia. (Hey, this word isn't in the dictionary!) Join in the show as host, Anware threw dozens of questions to guest panel Phyto Hystrix in TV5's top hit, 'Anware Tidur Lagi!'


Anware: Should Americans fear Islam?


Hystrix: Nope, but they should do terrorists, who aren't necessarily Muslims; or pure Muslims heart and soul.

Anware: But who are you to brand someone a pure Muslim?

Hystrix: Not close to qualified. But we know that Islam doesn't allow killings and suicide in the name of jihad, don't we?

Anware: Not according to some people.. To some people, that is TRUE Islam..

Hystrix: Understandable..but come to think of it. How did Islamophobia start. If it wasn't because of aggressive reactions from some group of people towards oppressions which was initiated by the West, the purity of Islamic principles couldn't have been belittled.. It's a trap, and they fell into it.

Anware: A quote from a book by an Islamic cleric, he said that no non-Muslim shall rule any inch of Allah's world, and if there are, then Muslims need to do everything in their power to take it back (basically).. Does this not show that Islam condones violence?

Hystrix: Opportunists often define to their own advantages or interests, that's how I would conclude. A verse in Quran explains about a Muslim's task as a caliph, which are to protect the land they live on, not to destruct and to maintain wise management on its resources.. Can you manipulate it (the verse) to fit a particular circumstance? I can, and I think that was how it begun. The quote can also bring a positive hint. Protecting Allah's land could also be done in a non-aggressive way isn't it? There are always better options and killings should always be the last resort..


Anware: Opportunist or Mujahidin? Because they believe they're doing all this in the name of Islam and nothing else.. Is the core of the problem Islam?


There was no reply from the guest panel. The host inquired again after half an hour of silence.


Anware: Eh, tido ke mende?


Had the guest panel run out of ideas to rebut, or did someone fall asleep during the show? Find out on the next episode of Anware Tidur Lagi!


Salam!

Perkara Berfaedah yang Dipelajari Semasa Cuti.

Kelepet.

1. Definisi kelepet.
2. Teknik-teknik mengelepet. (cth: berlagak selamba, mengaplikasikan ayat drama, mimik muka yakin)
3. Aspek-aspek pengelepetan. (cth: umur individu sasaran, strategi pengelepetan.)
4. Impak positif pengelepetan. (cth: meningkatkan keyakinan diri dan kemahiran interpersonal.)
5. Impak negatif pengelepetan. (cth: terkelepet. penurunan kadar motivasi intrinsik. dimarahi/dibelasah oleh individu yang terkelepet.)
6. Faedah mengelepet. (cth: mendapat apa yang anda mahu.)

Tahukah anda, 653 otot muka akan digunakan secara aktif semasa mengelepet. Tahniah, anda telah menjadi mangsa kelepet saya yang ke-38. Tahniah, anda terkelepet sekali lagi!


Ingat rakan-rakan, jangan sia-siakan masa cuti dengan aktiviti tidak berfaedah. Selamat belajar!


Gurau je. Udah, esok kita pegi cuti, membuang tensen. Jaga diri.


Salam!

Permanent Stand-In.

A permanent stand-in,
To take you over
Hurt me so bad, I've been counting the years-

-Now it has turned two.

And I wonder if life-to you; is something true.

***


My porcupine brother brought me the memories of being a Lab Technologist. He's straining his eyes to dig into 'kidney failure', which simply is awesome. I used to be a Lab Technologist in UKM. I was a trainee. I learned about lab equipments, about viruses, about cells, and everything in between. We were middlemen, unsung heroes who work underground. We don't see patients, but nurses send us samples from doctors, which would be analysed (by us), before a patient can know if he's unwell.

Simply put, we Technologists rock. We wake up every morning at 4.30 am. Ride the UKM bus at 5.30 or 6.00 am, be in the middle of KL around 7, and reach our 'school', the HUKM or KL campus at 8. Rocks. We rock.

-for not failing to carry the same routine day by day, which makes us disciplined. For singing to the radio in our bus every morning-that's like enjoying every day with a jovial kick-start. For arriving to the campus (or hospital) and sipping in the smell of a hospital the way someone else would sip a cup of coffee for breakfast. For sitting on the couch near our lecture room, overlooking Cheras and KL from atop the building while waiting for classes to start. For walking into the dissection hall, torturing our nostrils with the vapour of formaldehyde and fixed specimens (humans and animals) and never running out of fear. For laughing at a senior when he ruins his ribbon of an organ or breaks his glass slide. For dissecting a dead man's leg and seeing who's the gentlest for the most unbearable task. For going off after 'work' at 5 pm, and washing the smell of dead creatures off our shirts. For sleeping at night with our lab coats (the smell of death intact) hung on the wall, and for walking proud technologists the following days. Every day.


For keeping the memory alive. I am proud to be blessed with the chance to feel how it's like to be a Lab Technologist. Which is out of the universe.


And every job in the world rocks too, in each of its own ways. We serve the people in our respective part to keep life going for everyone. Yeah,we all rock. ;) Thank YOU.

Salam. :)

Tidur dalam pasu. PASU.

Can you see that?

Can you SEE that?

Boleh buat baja! I think the plant certainly loves the heat from its body. And the kitty definitely loves the cool bed the plant (and its home) provided.

I think I wanna try. Hey,gimme a pot. Quick! No no, not that. Bigger.

Here, another exclusive up-close picture of that adorable creature sleeping. For you. I hope it makes your day,as much as it makes mine. :) p/s: Tgk hidung die. Agak-agak,masuk tak tanah tu dlm hidung die bila die bernafas?

Salam!

Down Near the River.

To my dear,

I wonder how you have been doing over the summer
Have you been fine, have you been better
Or have you been missing the memories we once shared together.

Dear, I am leaving and this time it would take longer.
Because I ran out of reasons why I should spend another night here.
This pain I'm feeling is getting lighter,
Too bad it doesn't make me feel good either.

I've packed my things and made your drink,
Find your coffee and please-don't you blink
Your eyes to look across the road an' see if I'd be turning
Back to sit on the couch, next to you, where you'll be again waiting.

You'd probably leave for the club,
Hate to stay in the hall, turn on the t.v. and watch the world cup
Just how I want you to know that it hurt when you never stop
And turn to listen to me when I want to speak up.

Dear, I'm leaving now and this time it'd take longer
Don't you cross the street or drive to the river
If you can even make it I'm afraid you'd be sober
Cause tonight I knelt and plead for all to end here.


In ever loving memory,
Don't miss me when I'm gone dear,
How I'm scared of how it'd feel like as the cold water fills my lungs
But once I'm no longer here it will all be over


It hurt, and I'm feeling colder than ever-



***

To my dear,

I have been doing fine all those days when you were around
I have been well all those days when you were a company
I wonder how are you doing there by the way,
Are you well, or have you been regretting all the memories we shared together.

Dear, the night you left I waited on the couch
Sat and sipped the coffee I had loved and forgotten about
Hugged the mug, wishing I was holding your hands
Hoping you'd wait for just another day, so I can say how sorry I am


To keep you waiting-until I was the one
Who fixed my eyes to the window so I'd know
If you're coming back knocking on the door,
If you'd greet me with your eyes and not say goodbye-how on Earth was I supposed to know

No, that night I didn't feel like going to the club
I wanted you to be home so bad, I didn't even mind about any show
But how it hurts to know that all those time I failed to stop
And listen to you the way you did when I needed you to tear my fears up

I know-when you left it'd take more than longer
I know-when I reached the bank I wouldn't find you near
I know-you would be but five feet down the river
I know-when you're no longer here I would end up being the only one feeling sober-

-Cause you're no way the same to her
I wasted the chance and now she's not close to better
I realised just in time but it's just that you're a bit farther
But who cares-I know that you're here

***
(I'm here)

***

And I keep hearing you whisper.

Dear, you have been near all along,
Would you mind if I just drop by the river
Where we first met and where you last sat
Before you disappeared into the deep-and now you're dead

And left me alone by the car, to find your ring-my ring
And this piece of paper on which you finally rest your final words-
All the sufferings you've been living with
All those time while you were living with-

me.

Would you mind if I just drop by the river,
Where we first met-do you remember-
And fell in love?



Splash.

Duh-at (that), was all.

(clears throat)

So off we were, me driving WLT and my father driving another car. Instead of having two trips of carrying luggage we ended choosing another option that we thought would ease the task of carrying my things to our hometown.  It was to bring two cars and stuff everything in the two. Yup, it's my last semester in Penang, so the room had been emptied.


Now all I want to do is-well, I'll need a list. Watch t.v., cartoons, feed my fish, feed' em again, go to C.M., buy myself a new black bracelet (boleh tak Bu?) chat and laugh with my dear cousin till late night, and in short-in fact this isn't what you'd call a list kan,-in short I want to do everything I've almost forgotten about these 2 and a half years. A friend once asked me if I watch t.v. in campus and what I said went something like,

"Rupa t.v. tu cemane pun dah lupe."

"Awh Hystrix, you ni lebih-lebih la..!"

I know Jas! XD I mean, if you're one of those who has ever had the chance to deal with me, you'd know that I'm too much engaged to chores everyone else is doing; plus extras, in which I volunteer in:
Cohort Secretary, KSB Vice Secretary, KPA Cohort Representative, KPA Debate Competition Banner and Programme Book Unit Leader, TESL Night Secretary, Raya Feast and TESL Night MC, and Chalkie Bloggies Club Moderator(the one which didn't stand any chance for activities despite having two planned). Most of the time I indulged in the opportunity to learn through it, but there were times in which I found myself anxious about not having so much time to rest.

I have been one who enjoy having acquaintances around, but have not had much opportunity of doing it.

Say, Pedagogy would take around three hours a week, without any extra class. Which means that it could take up to five hours a week. And Pedagogy, most sincerely, was hell because of the way it was taught. People were required to do so much but not express themselves liberally in an equal manner. I know that's one vague statement. I mean, we were required to go a hundred extra miles every day for every task, for every activities and for everything-but when it comes to mass lectures you can safely plug in earphones to your ears because you are only required to stay awake and watch presentations. That had too little to do with any points listed in the pro forma.

And during class discussions you would need to pay attention and be really mindful when expressing your thoughts-for you might be simply rained with bullets of disapproval from the observer, should your notion intercepts hers. She- who sits somewhere behind you, watching everyone. And classes would end with threats about failures that happen every year, the way lectures would be initiated with.

Ah, just imagine. How relaxing. If Pedagogy alone would take that much time out of us TESOL 3-ians, how much time do we have left for leisure? And with happenings in campus which I had great interest in joining the workforce, how much time would I have left? And when I finally discovered that I have not been enjoying and benefiting much from Pedagogy classes, it was too late.


And so recently I got the chance to talk with Dr. Coutts, who came all the way from Macquarie University to moderate our examination (and assignments) marks. That was my first face-to-face experience. I was nervous about the probability that I might not catch her words in her supernova Aussie slang-but nope, I did, though I missed some shots.Goodness, help me.


THESAURUS, MALAYSIAN STUDENTS' ALL-TIME FAVOURITE.

She asked me what was in my head, when I was writing the assignment. It was a violation of language. No fair share of language skills utilisation existed with coherent ideas in it. I wrote rubbish, in a malevolently elevated level of language until it made little sense in the end, while it sounded more like an attempt of expressing ideas in flowery language. Yup, malevolent. I told her I wanted to impress someone. By it- she was frustrated, just the way I was. And that someone I wanted to impress so badly was my Pedagogy lecturer. Because I felt too much intimidated by her discouraging appreciation towards everyone's effort to do well in class all the while. So much until some of us ended up cursing or crying. Cruel.

Off with the flashback.

"Did you write with a thesaurus beside you?" Dr. Coutts inquired.
"That's a way of learning," I replied.

To my surprise, she shooked her head. "That's common among Malaysian students," was her response.

"Uhm? But I think that's a good way to-"

"Australian students don't do that. Well-when you're writing you want people to understand what you're writing about, not to wonder about it. I mean good writers write in simple sentences so it would be easy to understand their ideas, rather than to have complicated sentences and not having it understood by anyone."

Awkward. That does make sense, doesn't it? It does.

But what I did, was-playing with words. I enjoyed the game-the art, if I'm privileged to have it called so. It has been my all-time favourite. Hey, don't you use thesaurus too? I think of it as an express link of acquiring new vocabularies instantaneously, while writing. If not then, just when else? Apart of when you're reading novels, (if time permits; and if you're a fast reader, that's obviously not one of my qualities) there won't be so much time for leisure in campus. Even reading daily newspaper was a hardship.

So if using thesaurus when writing isn't good, how should it be then? I shared with Dr. Coutts that synonyms can't simply be chosen randomly because one synonym don't share the same definition with the other-and as it suggests, only one or two would have a perfectly matching definition with a particular context. A different context would have to do with a different diction, that's what it is about.

This time she nodded vigorously. Good that you know that, she said.

Good, I almost cried when she asked what was in my head. It sounded a bit harsh, but she was more motherly in her intention, compared to my very own lecturer in her conversation with me. She fed me the possibility of failing again. And again. And again-who wouldn't puke. I believe in my abilities. and I have too little concern when she says "You'd fail when you go there." Not until I stop working.

But what happened was a scene to learn from. If Pedagogy had not been one, this should. Writing isn't about impressing people to an extreme extent, but to make life easy for them by allowing them some space to mull over the ideas, and comprehend the lines.




"It's not about falling. It's about getting up each time you fall."
-Madam Mariah Ibrahim.


Another lesson is that-a good teacher encourages her students to outshine, not kill their guts with demotivating threats. And yeah. We learn Classroom Management too. Our lovable lecturer taught us that a good teacher provides non-hostile environment for learning. Not teach in a hostile environment by threatening everyone about failing a paper. After all, which is more severe than the other; students failing in exam, or a teacher failing to stimulate minds and generate active participation all the while in classes and lectures, ALL BEFORE the big day comes? Is the big day our only focus, and not lifelong knowledge and skill acquisition? Is that what the National Education Philosophy suggested, to be exam oriented? Is that a point that a teacher could be excused for overlooking? Being a teacher-or a class manager isn't about unleashing our internal desire of showing who was boss. It's about polishing a handfull of diamonds, refining it, and finding every edge from which it could shine-until each would shine the brightest from every side, one as brilliant as all the other.  Talking about bringing out each student's unique quality without the slightest hint of favouritism. That is a wilfull teacher's commitment.


Salam.

Sleepless Night. (BTN wrap-up)

It went to be beyond expectation, friends that were sisters to each other tearfully hated to see each other's face, friends who were brothers refused to speak. It went to that extent.

When he shouted, I didn't mind. I thought that it was just him, in his another episode of unstable emotion phase, or you'd say him being simply 'emo', maybe. I couldn't care less, and had made an early preparation for such situation as it had occurred quite some time ago.

It took a few hours for me to realise that the whole drama wasn't just a game, but pure reality. How a group of people can possibly turn the table, it crossed my mind. The hall was ours, and no one could simply walk in and snatch the flag we made without difficulties-at the very least, not without listening to less wonderful words. Or signs. 'Cause we weren't really allowed to speak, as in the rules and regulation of the game-which was by then over, without us knowing just when. To me it was because there was no clear summary of the activity. No "congratulations-you've-made-it!" or "now-you-see-that's-how-it-would-be-like-to-fight-for-your-country's-sovereignty-" NO NOTHING. It just ended with us being splashed with water and all of a sudden, we were shooed out, saying that the game was over. (Huh? That's the end?) People were whispering underneath the soaked flag, "what should we do next?" One asked. We joined the pieces of clothes to form a Jalur Gemilang and nobody came to tell us that we've made it, instead we were told to simply leave the hall. I just couldn't understand.



So it got out of control. It became one sleepless night. My teeth clattered from the biting night breeze, my shirt was a wet blanket that wrapped me in.

Freak, how angry he was. I think with everyone, and especially me. I guess I screwed things up. And how confused I was, still. I didn't mean to intimidate, I didn't mean to make him believe that I'm saying he was a liar, I didn't mean to not believe him in the first place! I didn't. I plainly believed that it was a game, that was what I told him the next day. But that night he refused to talk or look at me when I call. It upset me most, thinking that a few days ago we had laughed together over the phone. But I think he was doing the right thing. Though it hurt.


It was only after 4.00 am that we got to sleep, and woke up the next morning at 5.30 am for prayer.


Peculiarly the next morning everyone was back laughing, everyone forgot about last night, everyone cheered with each other. Everyone sat together and memorised the nation's acts for the test. Act 3, Act 153, 154, 181...everything. And none talked about what happened the night before. And the exam didn't give much trouble for us all.


I remember. Someone cried hard last night. Today it shows, that her eyes suffered a great deal. I went to her and called. "I'm sorry," I said.

"No, no, it wasn't your fault. I think I got to learn something from it too, it hurt me to see you guys like that and I was wondering why didn't you guys trust me," She said in between sobs.

I looked down and nodded. But no way it was her fault too, no way. Last night she was one of those who came and asked us to leave for bed, when we were straining our arms protecting each other from any threats-I don't know what on Earth it was-but I'm sorry, I AM sorry.

"Please don't keep it in your heart Hystrix," she said, placing one palm on her chest, while with another arm she gripped my neck and pulled it close to her body. I wrung my arms around her too. I heard her choke and cried with her.

"I'm sorry.." I whispered.



***

What they couldn't see was that we made it to get back together again. They said it was a failure. But-even if it was, we were a whole again, all of us. Who cares if someone shouted at the top of his lungs? Who cares if someone cursed angrily at her companion? Who cares, when in the end we got each other near again? That was what they failed to comprehend. The value of friendship, true friendship, that can withstand almost everything. It wasn't all about obeying or defying a leader, it wasn't completely about finishing the game too. It was about the value of trust, love, and friendship. A simple bond that was put to an ultimate test that night-and survived.


And it wasn't a test of whether you could keep the flag safe from a dustbin,or how long you could stay in an air-conditioned hall, with wet clothes around and wet floor underneath, panicking, thinking that it was right to stand the ground. It wasn't. Something must have failed, somewhere. Otherwise it wouldn't turn out to be that bad. But it wasn't the subject matter. It was trust, and nothing else but that, if the literal aspect was to be put aside for once.


Hey. If one day I fell and hurt my knees, I know I have friends to turn to. And if someday someone else needs help with anything, I wouldn't have to spend a minute for a reason why I should come. Because that night the curtains were drawn to reveal something that was all the while hidden from bare eyes. And a chain of inseparable hearts tied to one another glowed in a bask of sincerity.

-credit: Muhd. Sufian Shuhaimi. My little 'porcupine' brother.

In memory of Kursus Biro Tatanegara Mahasiswa ke Luar Negara, 2010.

IPG Kampus Pulau Pinang-IPG Kampus Sultan Abdul Halim.

"We'll get up together, but we'll get up as one." 
 -Faris, IPSAH.


Forever together, a union of friendship as tough as the mountains, as gracefull as the clouds. As tender as the wind.

About being me.

"This array isn't mainly blocks of walls I've built over the years, the way you thought they are." She said. "These are shields; metal shields, that have been protecting me and allowing me to breathe all the while."

"If getting through means that I'll have to break the walls, I would."

-And if you think that I am just going to sit down and watch, you're serving yourself a grim defeat- her mind spoke.

"Then you'll be battling with me," She echoed.



-For this is my kingdom, and I myself is not unarmed.



"Let's make things clear-I won't bow my head down just because you spoke of love, just because we know that love exist, just because you want me to believe that it is something true. Apart it all there is one thing you should know-that I can live even in the least acceptable truth. And the truth-is that I do not believe, will not pay a second to consider shifting-"

"I can't bear another loss." Ever softly he spoke, reaching a finger slowly out, where her heart is supposed to reign.


-Hey. You have started to aim to his heart dear. You told you're not challenging him into any battle but he insisted for there be a battle. We are not giving in, the way he's not giving up-

Her mind feeds her a cup of blood red venom. As it goes down her throat a sense of strength overcame everything.



"You don't want me to suffer, hate to die unfamiliar to how it feels like to love. Even if it hurts me; you would?"

"I would."

She drew some air into her lungs. "You articulate promises in a language I don't comprehend, but now listen. I won't tolerate just one more pain because you want me to change. I'm not going to change, I'm not enduring another cut either. I want you to know, my actions were based on humanity, my conscience on what's the right thing to do, based on a belief that you deserve the right to speak. But as you do, I deserve the right to decide. I am a free being, no other powers are over me but His."


"You do not know what you are talking about."


"About being myself; dear, which you claimed to be able to predict well-is not something you'd want to even know. And I want you to see," her eyes went easily away.



"that it won't even be near easy."









 Until it hurts, the waves were immensely harsh on the sands. Her taste buds stopped enjoying sips of raw salt in the air. It was slowly turning to taste bitter with every breath. Her heart pounded hard, her throat tightened.


As they both bleed she never lowered her bow, it was aimed straight, a few shots had shook the opponent's ground. He looked at the pierces-all of them.


"If you insist on breaking the walls it's not going to be an easy way in."


He looked across solemnly, right into her eyes where powerful phantoms of disbelief roam.


"If you wish for it to be so."

The opposing lines between her brows pushes each other away. She lowered the bow so she could see better.


"The walls are your strength. I f breaking it means hurting you so much, then I'm leaving."

She didn't understand.

"Live, and wish for me no good lucks, I am already dying."


She felt her heart murmuring.




I wish that someday He would replace me with some who can do better, she whispered a prayer. It hurts, nothing but the truth-it hurts. It's somewhere she had been before.


He started a step backwards to see her standing stiffly the way she was from the very start.


"I love you. I'll wait for you."


The air tasted even more of salt, she could almost taste it with her tongue. It wasn't the air that was salty. It was another. She eased her palms into a container of warm water, gazed at her own reflection in the mirror, and poured the drops of pearls onto her head.



"It's over," She consoled herself.





The water streamed down her lips. It tasted salty too, the way the air was. But the air wasn't red.