Be unwell,then you'll know.

Dear,at times like this when you're so helpless,you'll know who your true friends are. I mean it,and I really appreciate them,no gifts I can award them with,but my most sincere prayer for them...

Greetings,wonderful friends.

At this time,I'm struggling to keep my head up,and my fingers tapping on this keyboard of my loyal bestfriend,Compaq. Uh,terbuat iklan.

Dear pal,I am terribly unwell at this particular time,I can say that this is the second time,and second on the count of my most unbearable,helpless moments in life. The last time I fell very ill was in 2007,that's when I was admitted to the hospital with a 41 degrees fever for a week,which made me believe that I could've died if not because of Allah's will and the 13 bottles of water and vitamin solution tugged into my capillaries.

Despite being unwell,you must be wondering how bad it could be since I can still have some time at my workstation,typing another post. I've just taken my medication so I can bear with the pain. That'll be only for a few hours,I suppose. True,it's really bad but I am writing this as a symbol of my deepest appreciation for my friends who are there when I need them badly. A number of friends had noticed that I stuffed in pills after break time. And that'd be what I wanted to hide most. Now it's needless,I failed to keep it undercover anymore when the time came that I needed my friends' help real badly.

Here,I would like to express my deepest apology to my dear parents,for I am keeping them very worried,knowing that I'm badly unwell for the time being. And thank you too,for keeping me accompanied even from far on the phone. I hope that I'll be back soon,sprinting. :)

First,my gratitude goes for Azlan,for sending me a bottle of air Yaasin. He gave a call which I missed and when I called back,I asked if he was somewhere near the cafe as I could hear the sound of the falling rain. He said no though,not that near to cafe. As he gave me another clue which was the sound of his motorcycle, I made a correct guess. He was right beside Pala,my hostel block. He then passed it to my friend, Che' Lah who brought it to my room and asked me to rest. Thank you too,both Azlan and Che' Lah,and sorry for the bother. I cried when I remembered how Azlan could've rode his bike in the rain just to pass the water to me. I can find no better words than to pray that you'll always be blessed by Allah,amin.

Next is to my friend Zalia,whom had known about me being unwell much earlier. That's over a fortnight ago. She promised that she will try to bring me some medications so that I'll be able to get back on my feet very soon,and has been giving me advices to take extra care of myself. And my thanks goes to her mother too,for her effort and care of my situation.

Hani,for buying me dinner and panadol;and Nadia,for spending part of her critical time (she's hurrying on her Agama presentation) to visit and see how I am doing. I was either on my chair barely having my forum script done,or flat on the bed,bearing with the pain at the times when she came. I shouldn't have troubled Hani,as she was occupied with her own businesses the whole day. How I wish that I could walk up the stairs to 1 Stop this morning on my own instead of being such a nuisance. But I lost my strength. It was the panadol she brought home at the end of the day that helped. Also for Hani's mother,for her courtesy of asking about my beings and her kind advices.

Last but never the least,my appreciation and apology to my forum group members;Neynie,Natrah,Aini and Jiha who compromise with my potential disability of making myself available for the coming forum this Monday,Azie,for her advices,and for all my friends,who came/will come to visit me at my room,to all those,whose prayers helps a lot more than my words can ever say,simply everyone of my dear pals. I am very sure that even if I may not be able to put in all of your names here,but I know for certain that no one but Him can pay you for your kindness..amin.

p/s: I couldn't even play basketball,and don't feel like I can in another couple of days. But I do pray that this won't prolong,and that Ayah,Ibu,and all my friends and their families will always be in their best state of health. Amin..

Don't you worry,it's not fever. And I am praying hard that I'll be back soon. Please pray for me too. Thanks,and my wishes that you'll be at your best too. :) Take care...

...And Its Relevance.

My best wishes.

Change of trend,from frequent posts of poems to something least preferable.

Piece #1. Analogy.

Tomorrow I'll be frying my way to the last ticks of the hours for my forum. It's an early notice,friend! Just like Celcom Broadband,it's indisputable that the art of 'frying' gives nothing but pure excitement. In you,and why not me. And such joyous chances are not to be put to waste,but to be indulged in.

Piece #2. I'm trying to be critical here.

Yes you are. And so am I,not much in discrepancy. Friend,I should've been truthful and set ourselves free from the chains of intermediaries. The unheard voice. SO unheard,to be specified a voice. Then it must've been heard,fellow. And all that I've learned in life and its lessons is,it takes everything to face all the discouraging events and not say a word about it;but to move on with life. Come again,my voice is so unheard because I chose for it to remain the way it is or because I'm forced to remain in the state. Now,you be critical and figure my riddle out,friend. Why have I been practically silent.

Piece #3. Here's a bunch of smile,

Which tears the heart off. Remember our good old days and our promises and how we shall live like for at least a couple of years,or so? No don't remember,it will only hurt more because nothing seems to be more or less the same today. Words are but razors. Hold on,heart,and accept the fact that they're gone.

They even exist?
I don't know,heart. I don't know.
Silence.

Now that's enough an exercise of 'jokes...' to ease words out of my lips tomorrow morning. Wish me luck in my 'great frying' attempt!

Nothing like a matter to roll over the bed awake,thinking about,fellow. Feel like it,go on. I'll wish you a good night sleep now,and good day,for I'm frying on my piece of paper now. It'll burn tomorrow,hehe. :)

Couldn't Grab Hold of It!

The BVCTs.

Great to have your company!

Well here's the happening. Last weekend,we had this English Tourism Course at Tg. Bungah Beach Hotel,a well known, strategically located hotel near the shimmering coast of Tg .Bungah. It was awesome to be with the Cohort 1 pals during the two days course and learned a handful,no,a 29 hands full of knowledge about the application of English in tourism field. Hehe.

We were in the safe hands of Mr. Gary Cheah,our trainer/presenter who said that it was his pleasure to have us little future teachers around for the course. Yippie!

Now,the 'action part'. You may want to sit tight,I suppose.

The first task was due after breakfast. We were told to take a good look around the hotel compound and describe what we saw in a complete sentence. The latter will then be presented on...ahah,mahjong papers. ;P

Yeah we did as he asked,my friend,took a good walk round the hotel with pens and papers in our hands and wrote,and wrote,and....wrote. Or is it better if I say...fried? Whichever! When it's time,groups of the participants marched confidently inside the Orchid Seminar Room with their pieces of 'gorengs' held tight! Then one group after another presented their sentences and as Mr. Gary had wished for,we highlighted the word classes. It took not a long time to finally end the sufferings... You see,I was struggling to force the memory out of my brain,classifying the words! Some even went with their bright brainchild,by conducting their own classes. Here's the idea like,and it was exactly what they did. They went around asking the members of the floor to shout out the word classes as they present. Real brilliant idea! ;) I followed suit as I liked it much,too!

The third group,which was ours,set him in such an unfavourable light that he uttered,

"You know,I think I'll skip the nouns,the verbs and the adverbs part. You know it well enough."

Ooh...! Teachers,mission accomplished!

THe next day two couldn't make it due to health reasons. I hope that they're fine now,I heard that they've recovered,Alhamdulillah. This is what happened on the next day.

You know,I think I'll skip the verbal parts,these pictures explain it well.

Azlan,you said that it was magical that Wawa didn't take her own photos. See? She never gave up the hobby. Instead,she's widening the spot. This was taken using my phone. MY PHONE.

There's Hani,my dear roommate. And beside her is,yes,Wawa. Can't get a clue why she's laughing? Take a look at another.

Dear,she really laughed it off. What's she happy for? She got a row of...plates in front of her. Could it be the reason why?

Owh,it's me! She was happy to be my waitress! No wonder!

***

And you know,she said that Wawa and me make good party companions. She'd delightfully bring us as companions to dinners. Ehem,thanks,'granddaughter'.


Yup,I did take photos with Hani,I'm thinking about creating an album of our own. No,not songs...I mean pictures,pals..You want an album? Nevermind,I think The Band can manage. If the manager has got the guts to climb up the Tower Records,we believe.

Have a great week!

Chocolate Candy Bar: A poem.

Greetings fellow readers.

Agree when I say that words say it all? I'd agree,cause I'm that kind who loves to write for no reason but joy.

How about when even a thousand words can't say a thing?

Enjoy this one,for at least it's a thing...

Chocolate Candy Bar


Dear let it steal away your mind
Take you away from here
Let it lay you down
Take away your fear

Memories are none but failures
In your eyes,for as far as you could see
The field,the bills
Counts of the seconds lay potentials to me

At times when the day's a vain
A chew penetrated your veins
To sooth you in
I'd walk away gladly

Table for two,you and me
A glass for three,that chocolate had we
Fail your senses
Play you a foolish

In my eyes,for as far as I could see
The glass's emptying and so are we
Ticks snatched my points of glee
Robbed my chances of saying

How I missed it
And how I can't feel
I'm big enough no chocolates to sooth me
You're far enough we hardly have conversations heartily.

Now if you would let me get on with life,the brain's pounding.

Haha,joking.

The 'Thinking Box'.

Hello there,wish you'd have a fine day.

Today I let myself diffuse with this in mind.

"When we talk,dear friend,we storm out ideas from our heads."

Verbiage ahead.

I wasn't supposed to have a discussion this night. By the way we sort of...had one. Though it's a very short one. I would say that we didn't manage to make much out of the meeting as it was not planned anyway! And yet the three of us were there at the cafe,owing to natural causes which appeared to be...em...naturally the same,I'd say,which was;

TO EAT.

So I said to myself;with the novel we are to present about in one hand-why not carry on with a little exchange of ideas?

I was in the middle of nowhere in our chat when there was the rouse of a predicament. I let out this statement, realizing that it's time.

"I am in a tight spot when you ask me to choose one out of two things I love most."

Haha,now you'd laugh it off,won't you? Yeah,I'd like to join you. Hahaha!


Dear how I'd beg,can you please not leave someone in such situation, (I'm referring to the tight spot) when you yourself,in an unruffled state of mind,would prefer least.

You cannot possibly choose one amongst those whom you hold close to your heart-it's like choosing between you mother and father-which is impossible because we need both. Pal,you make a choice when you have to and likewise,you don't when you don't have to. So don't make me choose one when I don't have to,it definitely doesn't fit.

Because no one would like to choose when they shouldn't,for instance when there's no prominent reason why,no helpful basis how,and you'll feel terrible if you do. See,it doesn't fit,does it?

Cram the chocolate in your mouth and relax,you're a friend and so is she. We run side by side and she watches us by the track. If I let you go,the feelings won't be the same. But if I let her off,I'll lose my guide. And I won't choose because I don't have to. I have my partner running beside me and I have my coach keeping me on the running. Now pause chewing and really think,you do understand when I say I don't have to choose.

By the way it's not about choosing a dress to be worn on TESL Night or other stuffs. None of such.. Of course not!

Oh yes,today I fed a kitty,out of the ordinary. It licked some bits of dark chocolate on my finger. Don't blame me,it pawed up my laps when I was over the phone indulging the pleasure,meow-ing its way forward (and upwards) as I lift the bar higher. It sniffed and purred continuously that I hesitated to let it have a try. I think the white cutie liked it,because it had the choc twice. :)

Sweet dreams.

Inspire my whole world within.

Fantasize the wind,
Blowing against your skin
Fantasize the world
All yours within

Fantasize the field
With yellow daffodils by your feet
Fantasize the feel
All yours within

This time hope that you're not fantasizing
What you hope for
You and them complete me
My whole world within.

***

My regards to you,fellows!

It's been quite a week,right now there are four tasks in line and that's enough to pull a super massive amount of inspiration,out of my mind. I needed inspiration to write,that's why this one's entitled so.

Because,I've been wondering why.

At times,chances aren't at our side. Sometimes they don't have a clue,how much I care. And I don't always have the chance to say it out,how much I care,like I do. If only I could. They inspire me and they make my world complete.

Each of them is a piece of my puzzle.

Hey there,I think you don't know. I believe so.

So for all of the times when I didn't manage to get to you,for all of my statements which appear mind twitching to you,I'll leave it here now.

And you'll remember,because I can't get to this often but for once,you'll know.

It cheers me up to see you in joy,it turns me down to see you in despair. This time please understand,stop asking me for clarifications because I can't always provide you one. There are things that don't even need reasons to be real. You told me so,you taught me so.

Without any reasons,you are one of those I always have in my mind. Or at least,because I treasure you. Nothing more than that because it can't be more,you make my world a whole and what can be more but the whole world within... Mark my words,that you matter. And please understand it,do remember.

You be just fine,I want to share your joy and tears.

But I wish least to see you down under.

You matter,my dear.

This is for:

Ayah,Ibu,greatest love of all on Earth
My whole family members,with love from far
F1 Gang members,with deep remembrance
Best friend #1
Best friend # 2
You,who had gone through a lot together
Best friend # 3
Best friend #4
Close friends who are always there,rain or storm
All of those whom I call 'friend'.


You really matter.

Kotak Hati...

May today be one of the finest days of your life,dear readers.

Here are some lines from Kotak Hati of Hujan,it's beautiful lyrics catches me in the heart,and inspired me to share it with you. Hope you like it.. :)

Tak usah kau terangkan ku tahu
Potret wajahmu di setiap penjuru
Curahkan deritamu padaku
Biar kurasa apa yang kau lalu

Terang,terang
Bersama rasa sayang,
ku biarkan kau terbang
Terang,terang...
Sudut kecil ku isi
tuk senyumanmu lagi..

Berbaring renung kita ke bulan
Lagu yang kutulis kunyanyikan
Lagu cinta tentang kita berdua
yang kan kita kenangi hingga tiba masa

Terang,terang
Bersama rasa sayang,
ku biarkan kau terbang
Terang,terang...
Sudut kecil ku isi
tuk senyumanmu lagi..

Mimpi,mimpi
yang tak kembali
Aku janji

janji takkan pergi...

One day I'll find an answer of all my questions..one day... And until the day,rest in ease,my destiny written,my fate awaits.

Until the day,be calm,be fine... And if one day I don't see you here,I will smile to our memories.

If one day you'll be gone,your memories will stay here with me,where I stand..

Terang,terang
Bersama rasa sayang
ku biarkan kau terbang...

When I Saw You I Smiled!

And smiled. You don't know how much I miss you.

(>)) AM

???

That's actually 9.00 am.

It was 9.00 am when I reached school and saw their faces,faces I had missed much. And I didn't have to wait to hear 'em twitter,they blasted out a series of stories that changed rapidly from one to another-latest happenings,those which I had known and those I didn't;things that happened in school,the where about of other friends and everything I had missed around the city. Hey,that's quite a lot!

We then greeted Pn Zanariah,our counselor who had been resting her head in her car for quite some time before we approached her as she stepped out.

As usual,there were those conversations like "what are you doing here?","SPM tahun?"and so on. When we told her that we were students of SPM '06 batch,she was touched to know the fact that we were gathering there to meet each other. Yeah,how touching. It's actually the gang's tradition to make the school parking area as our gathering spot in the morning. We'll spend some time asking each other's doings,and tell how much we had missed each other as we go up the stairs to each places,each rooms we have been in during our school days.

But that day we didn't have that much time to cruise along the river of memories. That's because we had something bigger.

A. P.I.C.N.I.C.

Waves...!!!

Then we had to make a fast move,me unforgetting my duty,of outmost certainty. I'm the 2nd official driver a.k.a the manager. So I drove. Out of the schoolgate and into the deepest joy of all!

Did I forget to tell you?

Think I did. We went to Putrajaya by the way. That was our plan,the one we had made on the lat weeks of school-that once the last member of the gang had her driving license,we'd go for a convoy to Putrajaya-which is only within a stone's throw from Bdr Baru Bangi.

We didn't succeeded in organizing the convoy but anyway,who cares,it's only us. Zaeh's black Kembara needed some service,Kimi's dad using the Unser and Ili didn't need to bring her Kancil as we were celebrating her success of completing the puzzle of the gang (by bringing in the last license,an honour,into the family) -so my Optimus,em...I mean,my black Saga fitted the four of us happily.

Oh yes,a picnic wouldn't be one without...foods? Agreed? Spent cents of messages to urge them to buy some 'cikedis' and bottled drinks.

I am that type who feels nervous especially when I am driving these lil' kiddos at the back of the cockpit. But that time I didn't feel really nervous though. They chattered behind me,Ili silent;remembering the fact that I'm a silent driver. But to my own surprise,I myself joined in their 'conference'. Haha! It was great!

A few minutes later we were on the deserted roads of the administration city. It was a working day,so the road wasn't busy.

Soon we were in the heart of the city,Putrajaya.. Witness the arrival of F1 Gang!

*crickets*

1st activity: Cari port.

If we didn't have this meeting,it'd be our third delay of meeting each other. And was killing me not seeing them for so long. Alhamdulillah I had the chance to see my precious friends then.

Yeah,I told them that that time we'll have our usual tradition changed. It was a picnic,so I stressed to them that each of us must bring...em,food. One after another,we revealed the foods in our bags. Breads,breads,chips,100 plus,canned drinks,and...

Ili: Ha,yg ni plg sdp,ni plg sdp. (as she drew forth a plastic bag,we drew our heads closer towards it.)

Oh look,banana!

Menyampah.

Nevermind,Ili. You started it off with a great joke. So,what do you think we did apart from eating? Right,story time. Em...we bid farewell to each other three years ago as proud singles. Now?

Ili's 'muke bengang' when asked 'the question'. What question??

Merenung masa depan.


Part 2 coming. Look out for it.